You're HOME FROM WORK. The most important thing in the FUCKING WORLD right now is JERKING THAT DICK. Select the MECHANISM BY WHICH YOU WILL JERK. But be careful, there are MANY HAZARDS in and AROUND your STUPID APARTMENT.

You must JERK like you've NEVER JERKED BEFORE. You have no choice in the matter. It must be done. You are on a JERKMISSION. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ALMIGHTY, JERK THAT DICK. Go get 'em, you crazy little FREAK.

What'll it be, FATTY?

  1. go to your NEIGHBOR'S DOOR
  2. enter your LAME APARTMENT